is what i am and will alway be. and sometimes i let them get hurt and i pout about it. 98% of the time it is of my own doing. i think to much and have crazy ideas about things when it comes to my Master.
i think it is because i love Him so much that i get jealous of the things He does or is doing without me. i am always thinking i am not worthy of having Him as my own. now mind you this is my thinking not His. He is always telling me to turn off those spinning wheels in my head. i know in my heart that He loves me, but sometimes my brain does not want to hear it.
well it happened to me early this past week when i thought that Master was not happy to see me when i walked into His office to ask Him something. so i stayed in my office and let my little wheels start turning and spin out of control. and then i see Master walking around with one of the female bosses laughing and being happy with her.
i am now mad & jealous of seeing Him with her. i can't help it i am a woman with feelings for Him. Master has no clue as to why He is getting the cold shoulder from me, but He does know how to warm up that shoulder by applying heat to my ass. yes Master can not stand it when i pout like a child. it makes Him mad when i do it and then i am sad for making Him mad afterwards. i guess it is just how my female brain works.
Master has joked about this ladies big tits before and what He would like to do with them or how i would look good on my knees licking her cunt as she spanks my naked ass. so now i am thinking He wants her and not me. i know that is not going to happen, but my wheels are spinning way too fast for me to control them now.
when Master sees me later after the day is over He has a leather paddle in His hand. now i am in no mood for a spanking because i want to be a sad puppy and pout. well Master will have no pouting from His slave. He said get into position NOW slave! well i wanted to discuss this and was not moving into position.
the more i talked the louder He said NOW slave. my ass was already naked as it always is for Him even if i am mad at Him. He tapped my thigh with the paddle and said NOW slave! that is all He would say. i cried as i turned over to present my naked ass to Him. my shirt was still on and i did not even attempt to remove it for my spanking.
after a nice fast & not expected swat on my ass as i was turning around He said TAKE OFF THE SHIRT slave NOW! i am always spanked naked wearing only my collar that is the rules. off came my shirt as my blood boiled. i did not want this and He knew it. He spanked away as i cried into my shirt. they were hard and they hurt.
after 20 He was done and i was told to get up now we will talk about today slave. i told Him all the things that went wrong for me this day and my thoughts. and as always He held me tight kissed away my tears and said have no fears i still love you. now I did feel like shit for He did still love me and i made Him mad. see how my brain works.
i was wiped out now after all of this and all i want to do was go to bed and start over. i did and the next day i was a happy slave once again. a good spanking always cheers me up and Master knows it. that is why He always gives them to me. i love you Master.